Can I get a t-shirt cannon and shoot them at people?
That's a great idea.
Like men's game 98?
Just right when you walk into the pro shop.
Welcome to another episode of Did I Tell You About My Albatross?
I'm your host, Albie.
This is the goth podcast for honest degenerates.
It's like teeing up with your favorite foursome every week and diving into the best stories in and around goth.
You guys ready to tee off?
Let's go!
Welcome, everyone.
So we have we have a lot to cover tonight.
This is going to be a great episode.
We've got Shepard, Panda, say hey.
Hello, world.
Yeah, man.
It's been a minute.
We took a little break, a little hiatus, but it was all for good things.
And we're going to cover quite a bit.
We're actually going to cover.
I think it's going to be I mean, obviously, the PGA Tour season is over.
I thought it might make sense for us to cover, you know, the highlights.
Let's talk about things like Player of the Year.
Any any kind of like crazy feedback?
Love to get your opinion on some of the on some of the final, you know, on some of the final takes of the year.
Eric Cole, Rookie of the Year.
You guys never heard of him, have you?
I know who Eric Cole is.
Yeah, of course, Panda does.
I don't.
His mom was on the LPGA tour and he made like a shit ton of cuts.
So what was her name?
Linda Cole?
No, she has a different last name.
Oh, shit.
What's the story there?
Do we know?
No, I would have to look it up.
Nope, man.
She just got remarried to someone whose last name is Cole.
OK, that could be a very easy way to explain it.
We also have we got a lot of things to catch up on, including we have a new logo.
Wow.
Straight Jaeger.
The official drink of Panda room temperature Jaeger Meister.
What is going on?
Yeah, this is going to be a fun one.
Go ahead and dive in there, Panda.
We like you better intoxicated and being a degenerate.
That's what the show's all about.
For those of you who are just now tuned in, we are a bunch of degenerates.
So who won player of the year?
I don't even know.
So it looks like Jon Rahm.
I think Jon Rahm was.
And this is ESPN.
So I don't know if this is ESPN's like take on it or if this is actually like the award for
I don't know.
I mean, I should have probably done better research, but this is all I came up with.
So it could be Rahm or Scheffler.
So, yeah, I mean, I was looking, I'm like, man, you know, I forgot how strong of a start Rahm had.
Like, he really, like, came out of the gate.
I guess he won, what, he won Augusta, he won Masters, right?
Yeah.
That was the Masters trip that we went on.
That was amazing.
That was amazing.
We didn't see him.
Yeah, we did.
We saw him in the practice room.
We did?
Absolutely.
You didn't?
I don't think I saw him, dude.
Are you sure I saw him too?
I'm pretty sure I saw him hit an approach on to second green.
You were on toad venom and ayahuasca and didn't see him.
He was there could be the case.
I was taking my shirt off.
That was a funny story there.
Like I realized like halfway through our Monday practice round at the Augusta like I'm in my happy place.
And I realized that my shirts completely on inside out and I had to take my shirt off in front of 1000s of people at Augusta.
So worried about getting kicked out.
And then when I walked in for my pimento cheese sandwich, I told him put on my member number that was a
That made everyone turn around.
So then yeah.
And then and then also, you know, I just thought he won.
He won Augusta.
He won also the which which, by the way, that was the Ballesteros.
That was his birthday.
It would have been his birthday.
Right.
That was kind of the big story there.
Yeah.
And then you have.
And didn't he win it?
He won two PGA events, Torrey Pines.
He won Torrey US Open at Torrey Pines.
No, he did not win the US Open in 20, in 2021.
He did.
Yeah, a couple of years ago.
Not this year.
Yeah, I think that was the only.
That's all right.
He's the only man.
Yeah.
I'm surprised player of the year doesn't go to Hovland, who wins the FedEx Cup.
That seems strange.
That to me could go to Hovland.
Sure.
I mean, he's he was strong.
Are we sure that it went to ROM or you just pulled some random article?
It's done.
Oh, it's not announced yet.
I don't believe so.
I mean, this is ESPN.
Let me just check here.
I mean, yes, this is from ESPN.
Thanks, ESPN, for all your great coverage and stats that we're stealing.
Who goes to ESPN.com anymore?
Yeah, I mean, yeah, I guess I do.
I didn't even
I didn't know they had a website.
Well, you know who they do have, and that would be Scott Van Pelt, which is actually one of my favorite people on the planet.
Can't wait to get interviewed by him about my albatross.
Speaking of albatrosses, the other thing that we did and we covered while we took this hiatus was I hired a data scientist to figure out what the odds were on winning a golf tournament with an albatross as your last shot.
And the number,
It was astronomical y'all.
Um, do you guys recall what the, what the final number was?
600 million.
6 million.
600 million.
Oh, whenever you do something, by the way, that's a new thing.
Whenever you guys get a question correct, I'm going to do this.
Oh, can we do a quick, can we do a quick trivia question so I can hear that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, yeah, let's do it.
So just one.
I just want to hear the golf ball.
All right.
So another and for for our regulars, you guys probably recall we did introduce a new segment called Stump the Panda, which we'll be getting into here shortly.
But let's go and give him a little tease.
Let's go ahead and stump the panda.
From a shed in Tampa, let's dump the panda.
From a shed in Tampa, come stomp the Panda Panda Panda's got the facts, he's second to none Goff trivia, what Panda Man is always fun Goff history, do it with a twist of flair Try, try to stomp the Panda Man, if you dare From knowing Goffa's mom's names and many tours too How Panda knows these answers, man, I got no clue Warm shots to Jaeger if he gets it wrong If you're over 21 at home, join along
Stomper the panda is hard to do when it comes to golf history.
He's our dude from a shed in Tampa Panda what is the longest tournament win streak in a row?
Do you know that one the longest tournament win streak in a row?
This blew my fucking how many tournaments or what?
Like how many consecutive tournaments?
Yes, like we got one.
Yes, exactly This blew my mind
If I had to guess it would be Byron Nelson What totally right 19 it was in the 40s I don't know but it was sometime during World War two all the all the good dudes had to go play in Here all the good dudes had to go to World War two and Byron Nelson had like a heart condition so he got to stay and he just fucking dog walked everybody for a year and
Yeah, because all the other like athletes were out fighting and protecting our country.
Hogan was, yeah, like deployed and shit.
Right.
So is that right?
That was totally right.
And extra credit, if you can guess the number of consecutive tournaments he won.
Six.
No, not even close.
Forty seven.
That's way too much.
Somewhere in between six and forty seven.
Eleven.
Eleven is the right answer.
Jesus Christ.
How did you know that?
That's amazing.
It's all in there.
Golf ball.
Oh, my God.
That gets one of these.
Yeah, you get that right there and get a couple of them, actually.
I don't know how to.
It kind of loops three times.
I don't know how to shut it off.
So.
So, yeah, so that's amazing.
And then the other done.
Yeah.
And then we got some other stuff, the panda questions coming up.
This guy's unbelievable, man.
He's like, can we get back to if John Rom one player?
Yeah.
So I was on it is an ESPN article.
I don't know.
I think it is.
I don't know.
I'm just going to call him player of the year because frankly, he does deserve it.
I mean, don't forget that win at Torrey Pines.
He won in 2021.
But no he he he wanted Gus and yeah, right he had a couple other events He won four times by April this year, which was pretty crazy So rookie of the year
This guy, Eric Cole, and I'm like, Who is Eric Cole?
Obviously, Pana knows his mom.
But this guy, I was reading some stats on him.
This is crazy.
I don't know why, you know, that his mom has a lot different last name.
That was weird.
Golf Tour Championship for the second time walked away with a $10,000 winner's purse.
So he captured the Minor League Golf Tours Tour Championship for the second time in 2021 and walked.
I never heard it.
First, have you heard of that league?
Yes, it is.
That's a pretty dumb questions.
So is that is that that's Under the corn fairy like it's corn fairy above that one.
That is definitely under corn fairy and under PJ tour Canada and Latino America so that is The major league golf tour is usually just like one-day events.
They mostly play in Florida Is that like the Hooters event like the back in the day or no?
It's
Smaller than that.
Oh my god.
So you literally you just play like one in two dares.
We see that's more my so Eric Cole isn't Rookie of the year.
They haven't announced any awards yet.
There's five people that are candidates for it Eric Cole being one of them.
Okay Ludwig also Taylor Montgomery Thomas Dietrich Vincent Norman Ludwig Erberg I Mean shout out Ludwig
I look at the.
Player of the year candidates, I think these are I think they've already announced anybody.
I think these have already been announced, like this was on August 28th.
When's your article?
I don't know.
I already clicked off it.
Okay.
All right.
Well, they haven't announced it.
There's two favorites.
I don't think they announced it.
My guy.
Okay.
All right.
Well, that's weird because they wouldn't have posted it on ESPN.
It's okay.
We're just debating it.
The debate isn't are we right or wrong.
The debate is what should we do?
I think the article you're looking at is just best of PGA, like ESPN's take on it, not the official
Yeah, that could be.
I mean, it does say best of PGA Tour season from player of the year to biggest surprise.
OK.
Yeah.
All right.
Maybe it's just that's just their tank.
I'll tell you, Mark Schlabach or whatever your name is.
Thanks, first of all, for you, for the free research.
But but no, I kind of agree with them on all these.
Like in the story about this Clark guy was really interesting.
So like, OK, or no, sorry, the Cole guy.
So he went from Cole captured the minor league golf, which is basically like, I mean, that's a pretty simple tour.
It sounds like it's one and two day tournaments and it's below all the other, you know.
It's just a mini tour, it's just not a sanctioned tour.
He won 54 times on the MLGT tour.
I don't even know what that is.
That's pretty good.
The Major League Golf Tour, same thing.
54 times, dude, that's crazy.
And then, Minor League.
And then also, he finally breaking through on the Corn Fairy Tour the next year.
So it must have been in 2022.
This season, the 35-year-old tour rookie had eight top 10 finishes and 17 top 25s and 24 starts on tour.
That is insane.
That's crazy to me.
Like he had so he went from basically playing all these like little, you know, minor league stuff to all of a sudden having eight top 10 finishes and 17 top 25 and 24 starts.
How old is he?
Thirty five.
Thirty five years old.
Thirty five.
He still broke through, man.
I don't know if that could classify it should classify the rookie.
It's his first year on the PGA Tour.
Yeah, I get that, but like rookie should be young.
It's the PGA Tour Rookie of the Year.
So we're going to start doing polls.
Let's put that on the poll.
Do you can you win a Rookie of the Year award if you're over the age of 30?
Fuck yeah, it's way cooler.
If some dude who's like 48 one that would be sick.
That's closer to my range I could probably I could almost pull that off.
I'm 43 I have five years to really pull my shit together Speaking of pulling it together another shout out from a potential sponsor the David Ledbetter straight back swing aid Let me just go ahead and tell you this thing actually works.
I saw a panda the other day I got some time away from the kids went up to the Went up to the range and got my swing aid in the mail and he did by the way I
Love better doesn't send these to us for free to try out and give free publicity yet But he should because this thing actually works and I'm I'm all about it, dude It's like I've been taking my club back wrong this whole time and panda your mind like what's what's going on here, dude?
I had no idea like what I'm doing, but I was he taking the club because I
wrong inside, inside, way inside.
So that part of the panel, what's he doing?
No, no, no.
The pandas got me straightened out on the path.
But what I was not doing and what this thing does is it tells you to kind of rotate like it's this rotate, you rotate your body.
But when you do that, the face of your club needs to actually be kind of like pointing up at the sky.
Yeah.
And this thing kind of let it it shows you that.
And I'm like, oh, wow, mine's completely not even.
What was yours pointing?
Shut.
shot way shot way shot so he probably knew this but I guess I need this little swing aid to kind of show me but but I did a couple of them and I'm like and I hit a couple dude it was like I'm like oh my god I thought I've hit golf ball like they were actually like compressed that was like wow like what a huge difference and then I and then I duffed a couple but uh but it was good um when are you playing again to put this into action
Well, it's too hot.
It's like one hundred and forty four degrees right now in Tampa, Florida.
We're playing on Saturday.
I'm I'm walking tomorrow and playing.
Let's go.
So, you know, I'm Carpath only.
I know, but I'm playing away.
OK, that's awkward.
That's sick.
Good for you.
I know exactly what CPO is.
One time when there was a weird response to say, oh, no, when he said that, the bald eagle and I were in Chicago and it was raining and we called 40 golf courses.
We're asking, is it CPO?
Can we hit golf balls to every single person?
You have to go out with a map.
That seems like a terrible day.
What?
Why did you guys just being mean or you were just looking for a place to?
We're just looking for a place to play.
Oh, that makes more sense.
We found someone that was not CPO.
All right.
What about.
What about.
best finish of the year now.
Oh, like what tournament had the best finish?
Yeah, well, yes.
And I think their their response to this, again, our guy on the article that Panda said, fuck you, too.
He's given us free stuff.
Mark Schlaba.
I'm probably butchering your name there is the is the Canadian Open, right?
Where he where our boy Nick Taylor and then that one dude got Adam had had one just absolutely annihilated by the security guard.
That was a good ending.
That was a great ending.
Are we saying it's a great ending because of the shot he hit or the putt he made?
Or was it the fact that Adam Hadwin absolutely got tackled by the security guard?
I think both all the majors were like pretty much won fairly early.
Yeah, the majors were blah this year.
Exactly.
Four shot.
Six shots.
Don't even remember the other.
Well, yeah, I don't even remember the other two biggest comeback.
Wyndham Clark.
Did he win?
He won by he once he hit the fairway on 18.
He won.
I don't know if he won by one or two, but it was pretty decisively over by the 18th hole.
A hundred and fifty yard wide a fairway and he's still he almost missed it though He'd shout out.
I'm like he plays a literal slice sometimes.
So I think that's I can relate to that Yeah, I'm more of a reformed hooker Breakout player Wyndham Clark.
So he won.
No, no, just heard your ESPN article Yeah, I mean according to according to our boy.
Um, I
So, but I mean, you know, it's crazy.
I mean, his stats were nuts, like he had missed 24 cuts over the past two seasons.
But then things started clicking.
He got the David Ledbetter swing aid, which started teaching him how to take it straight back.
And then things started clicking.
And the 29 year old picked up his first PGA Tour victory at the Wells Fargo.
One more than a month later, he became the only the fourth player in the past 100 years to win the U.S.
Open the first time after making the cut.
Pretty interesting.
Rookie already did rookie of the year.
What about comeback player of the year?
Do you guys think won that?
Or who do you guys think will win it?
I Can tell you what ESPN said Have you heard the joke do you watch Parks and Recreation?
No, I love Parks and Rec.
Have you shot out Leslie?
No.
Yeah.
Have you seen the blooper?
where
They ask who is the best comeback of the year something and Chris Pratt goes as Kim Yeah, he goes Kim Kardashian and everyone looks at him like what he's like.
Well, she gets to come on her back Great and it's just a blooper and it's it's everyone just dies laughing.
It's a good one.
It's funny Comeback player of the year Ricky Fowler.
Yeah Big Dick Rick biggest disappointment
I'll skip over that one biggest disappointment of the year besides besides Brando's golf game Phil Biggest it's not even like kind of yeah masters.
Yeah, he was second Because the biggest we didn't get to see Tiger yeah, I say lack of Tiger Woods Oh, I think we're looking for a player here.
Well, that is a player just in time.
That is true.
He made the Ryder Cup.
Oh
Yeah, he made the Ryder Cup.
Who did?
Justin Thomas.
He did not make the Ryder Cup.
How in the world?
I mean, how?
There you go.
Why don't you just leave the current events to us and we'll let you talk.
What research are you doing?
Actually, he missed the cut in three of four majors and tied for 65th at the PGA Championship.
He carded an 81 in the US Open and an 82 at the Open.
Well, he's in the Ryder Cup.
Yeah.
So why don't you just pick?
Why don't you guys know your stats like my boy Brian here?
And yeah, we'll pick the current events.
OK, well, you don't then come prepared with any current events.
Just ask us.
It's right off the dome.
OK, and then I think the best hole in one way.
So are we just brushing over the fact that Justin Thomas Scott?
I mean, I think it's a writer.
Yeah.
Why don't we could do it?
Yeah.
Do three and a half hours on the Ryder Cup.
No, we are.
We're totally.
I mean, that's all we're going to have to do this offseason.
We're going to need to really do a deep dive.
In fact, I got great news.
We actually have a sponsor.
We're going to the Ryder Cup.
I got a ticket.
We are.
We're going to Rome in Rome.
No, no, no.
I mean, I'll go.
I actually get a virtually get free tickets virtually.
Do you really?
Yeah.
If we could.
How many?
I can look into it if you'd like.
Fuck yeah.
The PGA of America puts on the Ryder Cup, the President's Cup and the PGA Championships.
So that's their big three events.
So we all get tickets.
Dude, we will if we can if we pay for your air flight.
Deal.
I would do that and maybe depend on one and when you want to do it.
Tell y'all go us three.
That's one of my favorite cities.
I've never been.
Timmy has a plane.
The tickle does have a plane.
You won't go.
Can we change his?
He just picks us up like that to tickle.
I don't think that's an animal.
Has to be a spirit animal.
What's a ticklish animal?
Buy me a ticklish animal.
We can't keep.
What about just a tick?
A tick?
Oh, a tick would work.
He's the.
Yeah, he's a tick.
Something's better than body.
He would like that because it's like gritty and like.
Yeah.
Sucks blood.
Yeah.
Again, when when Timmy's playing well.
Inconvenience.
Well, like when he's playing well, he is known as tickle the tick, tick of the big dick.
But when he's playing bad, he is tickle of the tick, tick of the small dick.
For those of you don't know, Tick is Shepard's brother here, who is a pilot, puts left handed, plays right handed.
He's all over the place.
He's a really great guy.
And what is he like on Mondays?
What's he like on what on Mondays?
What's he like on Mondays?
What do you mean?
What do you like on Mondays?
We learned this in Dominican.
I don't remember much from the Dominican.
Uh, which we're going to cover here in a minute.
We went to Casa de Campos.
We played in a pro-am with Brad Bruner.
If for those of you, the kangaroo episode.
Yeah.
Uh, be sure to go back and listen to that if you haven't.
And we, uh, take enjoys bus Mondays.
Oh, that's right.
Was that a real thing?
Yes.
That is not a real thing.
Dude, no way.
We're going to have to edit that part out.
Probably.
I would imagine.
And let's let I mean, dude, we can put it in there.
Tick.
I mean, well, he likes the prostate stuff or does he like to do it to her?
I never have asked that part.
Wow.
That's a big distinction there.
But it's been.
Dick has been into butt stuff Mondays for years.
Yeah, that's crazy.
So, hey, quick question.
You told you told us for again, for those of our new newer listeners, Shepard is a professional performance coach.
I guess the best way to describe it.
How would you?
Sure.
Yeah.
So he makes the most elite athletes in the world.
And by the way, I didn't realize this.
You coached
Grand Slam winners.
You've also coached Olympic gold medal winners.
Yeah, as well.
Right.
So anyway, very high end, high performing athletes.
And you told me a secret that some of them get done from from the physio.
It's not a secret.
Where I'm pretty sure this is what got the gymnast guy in a lot of trouble where it was But this is I guess on dudes where you you do the what is it called the it's a I'm gonna butcher the name, but I think it's called like a coccyx release uh-huh and if you're like part of your low back tailbone is stuck
The only way to release it like it's a is it's like a manipulation is to go in through your booty, the booty hole and give a little tug and it releases.
Let's go in the.
There you have it, folks.
Learning all the secrets here on.
Did I tell you about Albatross?
No.
So, I mean, maybe I.
Maybe that's been my problem with my gossiping is that my tailbone has been completely locked up all these years.
You should look into that.
And Panda, that's just something you should add to your repertoire of coaching practices.
$40 coccyx release.
Would that count as a credit to buy an additional credit for $40 for everything?
Exactly.
Exactly.
Oh, boy.
Yes.
So anyway, I say we save Ryder Cup talk for another episode.
Yeah, but I mean, I did not know that he won.
I mean, I did not know that they led Justin Thomas.
And that is crazy to me, considering they let him in.
He was a victim.
No, but he was a he was a he was a captain pick, right?
Yeah, correct.
Yeah, well, that's what we have an inordinate amount of captains picks now.
It used to be two and now it's six.
Yeah, I like it better this way.
I think it should be by six.
I think it's bullshit.
I think it's one or all.
And then and then live guys are obviously playing right.
Like Brooks is in Brooks is the only live one on Team USA.
Oh, from Europe hasn't announced their team yet.
They still have a tournament going on right now.
Got up and grinded that out in case somebody needs a scouting report What do you mean?
Like that's where the depths of my golf knowledge extends to is like I have to wake up at 6 a.m.
To watch the Omega Master in Masters Did I ever tell everyone what the stats were on a on the albatross of the data scientists that yeah?
600 600 million, so it's 1 in 600 million
I thought that was amazing.
And for anyone that doesn't like things to bullshit, I mean, I literally hired a data scientist.
He has a three page paper that he wrote up on it.
This guy is you get that framed and you should get that right on your back.
Not only that, you can also go to did I tell you about my trust dot com where you can download a PDF version of it?
We're happy to share it with you.
But dude, I was thinking like they had the Powerball during our time off that was over a billion dollars.
I was like, dude, I know I looked at the odds for winning a Powerball.
It's one in 300 and some million.
So I could have won the Powerball twice.
What would you rather have?
Of course, the the Powerball.
I mean, I'm not an idiot.
He said one hundred and fifty thousand.
This is cut off.
So I mean, even if I won 51, no, I'll be.
I mean, I think it has gone up a little bit.
I mean, I do think that it's changed my life in a lot of ways.
I mean, obviously, we're doing this podcast.
And that's true.
Anything's possible.
It's been, you know, it's amazing.
But I just thought that was really interesting.
I just love the fact that we hired a data scientist to back it up.
Um,
Don't know you're using week.
I was about to say you said a lot of we you you paid for that shit Yeah, I mean I think it's a great.
It's something great.
I think it's a great investment well because you guys kept giving me shit I think that because again think about all things We don't give you shit that it's hard.
We give you shit that we've heard it enough times right right I know he started telling the story in Dominican, and I literally just walked away
We met some random guy who looked pretty cool and we were like all sitting around and Brandon just starts telling the story and I literally got up and just left.
Well, no, because here's the deal.
He was at the concert.
By the way, this guy, if you're you're probably gonna listen to podcast, I'm sure, because you remember I told him that we were doing a podcast.
But no, I don't think that guy was going to remember that.
He's probably not.
But he he is also at a concert property in or near Atlanta.
And we asked him, how are your greens?
How are your greens?
How are you guys getting shucked over there?
I told him about real quickly.
I'm only have like 15 seconds.
I told him about my albatross and also told him that I almost died with Chuck with the mole trap when we played that in 15 seconds.
It was quick.
It was it was quick.
It was probably like two minutes, but I've got really to the point quick.
And yeah, he went like this.
Hi, I'm Brandon.
Hi, I'm this person.
Oh, you're at concert.
Did I tell you about my albatross?
And then he just went on and told me.
Let's go.
Didn't even ask if he wanted to hear that's promoting.
Yeah, dude.
I mean, because if you want, I'm like, oh, I actually have I have the best.
I have literally the best shot in concert golf history.
And he was like, what shot is it?
Go for it.
All right.
Well, let me tell you about it.
It's actually one in 600 million now that we know.
So, I mean, it's just you can get struck by lightning like seven times by the time you get to one in 600 million.
It's crazy.
All right.
Let's go into the other thing that we did.
One of the favorite one of my favorite moments of this season on did I tell you about Malibu Trust is when we started getting into the what if scenarios?
I just love what if scenarios like what if you can eat?
Can a human being eat a golf ball?
That one always comes up.
I love it.
I still don't know the answer.
This isn't a one.
If, though, this is a this was the what would you rather?
No, this was a challenge.
This was, I'm talking about the one, the one arm challenge.
The, uh, the, uh, yeah, yeah.
As a recap.
And for our newer listeners, we decided to have a one arm challenge.
We're calling it the one arm bandit.
And it's where two golfers, both scratch players in our case, it's shepherd and Panda compete in a nine hole challenge.
One golfer throws the golf ball.
and the other golfer plays with a golf club, but only with one arm.
They both play from the red tees, and we only play for nine holes.
We completed the challenge about a month and a half ago, and the results were astounding.
God, he lets go.
The one-armed bandit.
Can we recap that?
Yeah, I think it's good.
That ass beating.
It wasn't an ass beating, by the way.
That was not an ass beating.
It was not.
It was actually it came down.
I, I was I mean, what are we doing a rematch whenever you want?
Well, so we want to talk about I want to talk about that because we had talked about doing that right now with flashlights.
Oh, so we did a two first.
Now he ended up throwing all the money away, though, that he won after nine holes on the last bonus hole on and on the nine hole that we played.
Yeah.
And for all those who watch the video credit to Billy for.
good solid wedge there at the end.
Yeah, we are going to actually give him that.
That was good.
We're going to have that ass beat, but that was good.
We are going to have beat.
I lost on the eighth hole.
Yeah.
What on the eighth hole?
Lost the eighth hole with one hand.
Well, Panda, in all in all.
And you're putting your putting everybody.
Everyone has said it.
So rematch, you can't.
You have to release the ball.
He knows his bullshit.
Why are you laughing over there, dude?
Wherever your T-peg goes in.
Look at that smile, dude.
You can't lean over anymore.
I agree.
I agree.
Complete bullshit.
We gotta get more... Everybody agrees with me.
That's fine, but I need some time to... I need some time to work on my bowl, then.
Okay, well, I'm gonna practice.
Yeah, no, give me, like, just, like, two weeks minimum.
But we're going to run it back with a foursome.
We're going to do two versus two.
I love I love the contest.
But yes, Panda did win.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I got to get a I got to get a throw partner.
Huh?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
But you're getting Sims who play college baseball, so I don't feel too bad.
Javelin, javelin and a baseball player.
Is Andy my partner?
It's a scramble.
I mean, why is Andy good?
Like, I wouldn't mind doing it with you.
Scramble or best ball.
I got this new to lead better.
So you three holes of scramble, three holes of best ball, three holes of alternate.
Yeah, yeah.
Perfect format.
I don't want.
Yeah, I want to sell my partner because you have to film it.
Yeah.
And there's you can't even play real golf and film, let alone one hand golf and film.
I can't play real golf, period.
You can't really.
I can't.
I can't.
Not with that mindset.
But you can.
I can.
Fix your positivity is everything.
No, I did.
I actually play it.
I mean, I just knew I'm compressing the ball.
It's amazing.
The new the other thing I want to talk about is the is the Caso de Campos.
Yeah, let's get into that.
So let's dive a little bit.
We're going to actually have the rest of the boys on.
So again, this was a pro am tournament down in the Dominican Republic.
First time I've ever been there.
First time.
Well, you've been there before.
Not not to this resort.
Yeah.
Really really nice.
I mean they yeah, beautiful beautiful resort.
It was unbelievable Yeah, and we get there and it's more of like a gated city going there You're like, holy shit This place is a little like you don't want to stop for directions like on the way there because you're gonna get killed like you're absolutely get killed
You saw a lot of scooters, a lot of three or four people riding on a scooter at one time.
That's kind of crazy.
But when you get inside inside the gated, you know, community, it is it's on.
It's unreal.
They had what, two courses.
Well, no, so that so they have teeth of the dog and the country club course.
Yeah.
Oh, we didn't play the country club, right?
No, we didn't.
I think it's called the links or something.
Oh, and then they have the dive for which they have three court three nines over there, right?
And then I think there's one more course that is a private club in the in the gate.
Oh, wow.
Can we play there next time?
Probably.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Also, I've looked on their website.
They have tons of events throughout the year that are like Latin America program, Latin America, bring a pro Latin America to ball.
It's like we throw the golden arm challenge.
Yeah, dude, that's we.
So we get there and then we were playing.
We played a four.
I mean, it's a four day tournament, right?
And and then our our pros I mentioned was Brad Bruner.
We've had on we call him Kangaroo.
The most amazing.
I think that for just recapping the year, the fact that his spirit animal was a kangaroo and he was wearing a sweatshirt that had pouches on it was just one of my favorite moments of the entire podcast this year.
But anyway, so kangaroo is there.
And then we had we had tick.
We had Shepherd.
We had Ocean now.
Ocean night.
Huh?
No, no.
Ocean night.
Vito.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
Oh, you don't like that name?
No.
Oh, sea turtle.
I'm an animal.
Oh, Ocean Knight is the, yeah, that's true.
He's a protector of the sea.
Yeah, he's a sea turtle.
Why are you wearing a Texas Tech shirt?
Shout out, college football's back.
You guys probably don't know that, but college football is back.
I'm from Lubbock, Texas.
Did you guys see that Florida?
That's what they do.
Did you guys see that Florida documentary on Netflix?
I didn't, because I heard it's just like the, it was gonna be good.
And then it just became the Let's Blow Urban Meyer show.
Was it called Swamp Ass?
Yes, I don't think it's called swamp ass.
I think it's got no better name.
That would be it Swamp Kings Swamp Kings I'm not gonna watch it because Urban Meyer fucking blows and there's no amount of time that any documentary could tell me different The panda has spoken Urban Meyer sucks Let's get back to Casa de Campo.
So happier talks.
Yeah, so we get out there now the caddies we had caddies sort of There's really no hard set rule on the caddies
Are we going to like go deep into this or are we going to wait till we have the crew here and go into it or what's the plan?
I don't know where we can get them in here.
You don't think I think we 100% can get it.
You can't get three people in here.
Absolutely.
We can definitely get three people.
We got a new set.
I kind of liked it not this low because I can basically see my dong and belly.
Let's go.
Speaking to Dong and Belly, one of the best comments from the trip was when Brad said, little tits, big belly, literally describing myself.
I just love that.
So we get there.
We have we get we first of all, we get off the plane.
We skip customs.
I don't know how that happened.
We get to the resort.
It was amazing.
We all have our own golf carts, which was also cool.
And we're all staying in our own villas, which is kind of cool.
land and go straight to teeth and dog.
Yeah.
That's right.
That's right.
So top 20 course in the world.
Top 20 course in the world.
It was amazing.
It was.
And I will say so.
I've been to band in like I think band in in Shepherd.
I know that you we've talked about.
I think band is probably better.
Like it's a different it's a different experience.
But but these were some of the most I there's something about the courses being right on the ocean where you're actually hitting over the water on some of the holes.
Yeah, I mean, I just was cool.
Bannon's a little more elevation, and it's obviously a lot different weather, but it was unbelievable.
And the caddies were great because they spoke no English, not very like they were just used to like some tourist golfers.
Probably we're trying to take a series.
The one guy that we had was his name.
Do you remember Francisco or the first guy?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
What was his name?
Yeah.
Well, he kept saying mucho gasolina whenever I would whenever I would hit a putt because I would always over, you know, I'm using carawood screens.
Thanks.
Thanks again.
Shout out.
You hit him.
Jam the fucker.
Too hard.
And the guy would go mucho gasolina.
Mucho gasolina.
No water, no sand.
That's the other big thing if you had to drive, it wasn't no water, sand.
Brad Bruner, our pro, literally, they also at nighttime have this night golf, which we'll show you clips of that on the YouTube channel.
But the thing is, is he decided, I'm gonna hit some right-handed shots, and did that after night one, completely threw his neck out.
I'm talking about when I say threw his neck out, dude, he couldn't even like,
He was like, with a turn, he was like doing this maneuver so bad that he didn't play the last thing and he didn't even take a swing.
It's like, I can't do it.
You know, it's all inclusive.
So all the food and stuff taken care of the dinner was really great.
What do we do?
Yeah food was good.
Yeah food was good on golf cart I was like the welcome dinner that first night and then and night golf and then night the second day was right Yeah, that bug on you, dude.
They have some of the most crazy-ass bugs out.
I'm gonna Yeah, this big it was just sitting right next to me.
There's like a beetle.
No.
No like a
Giant moth.
It looked like it had wings.
Jungle moth.
No, I had wings.
That makes sense.
Yeah, it looked like it could take it could take some people down.
I will say.
And then day two, first round of the tournament.
Day two was first round of tournament.
Let me just show you the tarantula.
And I'm not that sick at the Chavon, which is a really cool.
Oh, we met that one guy.
What was his name?
The dude that played with him on the Latin tour.
I love that guy.
Nico.
Nico.
Yes.
Shout out to Nico.
Nico.
And then I'm telling him all about the podcast.
You're damn right.
I told him about my albatross and I told him about the one in 600 million odds.
Like first couple of sentences.
It was crazy.
Day 2 was the first day of the tournament.
We thought we played quite well.
We did.
The format is you play as a 5-some, you get 85% of your handicap, you take one best gross score first, and then one best net.
You're allowed one best net, or just two best gross, because we weren't.
I was playing... Brad played as a 0, Andy played as a 0, I played as a 1, Tick played as a 2, Albie played as a 4.
Okay, so We shoot a couple under after day one on a brutal course Siobhan Lagos the Siobhan course was awesome.
Like it's Siobhan is The river that is that runs through there and we're like way up above it looking down.
It's really pretty Awesome golf course nine holes and then Lagos was a brand new Pete Dye course where the greens were like rock-hard
So like if it was a front pin, you had to land it short and let it go like get there.
If it was a back pin, you had to land it front number and let it run off.
Almost impossible to hold green.
So very different than what we're used to playing in Florida.
So it took everyone a little bit to get used to it.
We shoot a couple under on the day thinking like we played quite good, thinking we scored well.
After day one the leading team was like minus 21 We're like how the fuck is this happening and the whole time wasn't a scramble.
It was like what is right?
Yeah?
So the whole time, though, on day one, our caddy is saying like Dominican par, Dominican birdie, Dominican par.
What is this guy talking about?
We're like playing a proper golf tournament, legit, proper rules, not moving our ball, not touching a ball, putting everything into the hole.
No gimme's like no mulligans or anything.
And the guy we come to find out like these Dominican birdies and Dominican pars are like real things.
Yes, yes.
are like real things.
And so then a team gets to 21 under, we're like, well, all right, this starts to make a little more sense.
They're also like the pro, then they have one other good golfer on the team, and then the other three players on these teams are like 18 handicaps getting a stroke every hole.
So we didn't have a chance because we're not getting enough strokes.
And we're also not taking Dominican birdies and Dominican pars.
Day two, three, and four, we play a little bit better.
You take more Dominican bars.
No, we're not really we still played pretty straight up.
Okay.
Yeah and Yeah, so we shot as a group our final round was minus 46 over the four days Now you think that's pretty good and you think like we're like damn that's pretty good Yeah, and take a guess on what the winner was.
Yeah, a hundred and seven.
No, mine is 81 It was a winner
like and then the best part is Afterwards at the awards ceremony the one guy's guys the best one guy who won on the team came up to us with a ziploc Bag full of cigars and he's like hey a couple guys couldn't make it these were theirs and we have a bunch of extras and obviously Andy and Brad had a cigar in their mouth from Sun up to Sun down so like yep take those and
And then we just asked was like, how so how'd you guys do it?
How'd you guys get to minus 81?
Yeah, or minus 86, whatever it was.
And he's like, well, I came here like two weeks ago.
I'm like a 30 handicap, but they put me with my caddy two weeks ago.
And I've just been practicing with my pro and I would like line up at the ball and then my caddy would like come in like,
Angle my body and then I would just swing and Mike my slice would go in the fairway and then like if I was away from the hole and like the pro was in front of me like I would hit my ball first so my pro could get a read and like just all this stuff and I was like I Still don't get how you get to minus 81 right like this guy was just This guy was the best he was trying to get us to
Invest, invest money with him.
He's like, Oh, he said, well, because he bought now I will say the real estate there.
These houses were absolutely fucking amazing, like right on the course.
And you can buy them relatively cheap.
I mean, that's like for what you're getting over there is like it's amazing.
But this guy's like I'm also I came over here.
I bought a place two years ago.
And, you know, obviously I came here like to his point two weeks early, got the same caddy.
Oh, they had a couple of restrictions.
They weren't allowed.
Their captain said, You can't drink during the entire tournament.
You got to be in bed by 9 p.m.
He was like, we played this like a real tournament.
I'm like, OK, I don't know of a real tournament where you're shooting 86 under and you're completely you have an 18, you get 18 pops on around.
And I'm like, that takes all the fun of it.
Like, I'd rather lose and have fun.
And then all day one was a plate.
Now, this is one of the things I wanted to bring.
Yeah, that was tough.
So, you know, I think that we did get a lot of good tea gifts, though.
Is it all the tickets are great, but yes, every day.
But but is is the metal plate the worst trophy you can possibly get?
Like what?
Like where did the metal?
No, there's Wimbledon gives off a gives out a metal plate.
What is the what?
What is the background?
Does anyone know what the background is on a metal plate trophy?
I think it's dumb.
I think it's a dumb trophy.
It seems Tennessee.
At least you can use it.
What, do you eat off of it?
You don't eat off of that.
No, like a serving plate.
You cheese and is it jacutterie or jacutterie?
Sure.
Yeah, okay.
Or like a coffee table.
I don't like it, dude.
Holder.
I don't like it.
What do you want your fucking trophy?
WWE belt?
A big ass albatross and one 600 million on it.
You want the butt plug on there?
I like that one.
Timmy would love that for Mondays.
Would love that one.
Tell me that doesn't look like a butt plug.
It totally does.
It has some striking resemblance.
One hundred percent.
Or it's a teardrop for all the other people.
The base isn't big enough.
The base has to be bigger so it doesn't get sucked up into your ass.
That's true.
That one will get slurped right up.
The lady restrooms, men restrooms didn't have any arms.
We're going to be flashing these pictures up on the YouTube channel.
Makes no sense when I'm just saying this randomly, but we're going to we're going to share a couple of things with you.
Then we're going to get into the deeper dive with the guys on.
But I will say they do have they do have the scenario where
I thought this was a great idea.
The caddy flag idea.
This guy spoke no English.
He had, you know, you know how caddies they have used to be a caddy abandoned.
For those of you didn't tune into our first couple episodes and you probably took your craft very serious.
You probably had amazing hand signals and so on.
These guys were not like that.
I think there should be a flag system.
I think we want one of the things we're going to work on is actually building out flags that are universal, that you'd be able to to wave.
And these are adjustable flags.
You only carry one.
But then you just all you do is you hit a button and then all of a sudden a pink flag comes out and you wave it like this with an X on it.
That means you're safe.
No water, no sand, you know, or or or, you know, you do this and it's gone or, you know, something like that.
But it's a flag.
It's a different kind of flag for every scenario.
That way, there's no hand gestures you don't have.
It's bilingual.
It's you know, it's universal.
And I think it's just a great idea.
And we're going to make millions on it because they think about all the caddies and stuff out there.
I'm not giving up on that idea.
That's my idea.
No one steal it.
I think there are universal hand signals.
Yeah, but not everyone uses those.
But that's what you think.
Everyone's just going to use a flag.
Well, we're going to we're going to have to use that team if all.
Ultimately if the caddies know what the fuck's going on then that's okay He wants them for four caddies that are just out there watching the balls, and then he can be like Oh, I need to hit another ball or green flag fair green flag or white flag bunker.
Give me a red X 3t you know like just water sign that says hit another ball
Yes, but no, I mean, that's not bilingual yet.
But yes, I mean, yes, some sort of symbol or a balloon like get balloons or something.
I don't know.
This one keeps coming up, though.
This was also brought up.
Would you rather punch a toddler on the face or an elderly person on their deathbed?
I think it's a very good question.
Pretty random, I know.
I've already answered it.
Yeah.
And I need to answer it for the pod.
Well, I'd love to hear before you do it.
I'd love to hear pandas take on it because he doesn't have any kids yet.
Yeah.
I have to, I have to, I have to jack a child in the mouth or a super old person.
You got to punch him right in the face.
You can do it in his nose or whatever, her nose.
But it has to be a toddler.
We're talking three or under.
Or it has to be an elderly person drinking or eating out of a feeding tube who's pretty much on their last leg.
Which would you rather do?
I guess the old guy.
Just pull the plug.
Yeah, just go ahead and finish it.
OK.
All right.
Yeah, I'm the finisher.
All right.
So, you know, I like that.
I mean, I would never hit a kid.
I mean, crazy.
Yeah, I never hit a kid.
We have we have babies.
I mean, we have kids.
So I get that.
But you're the first person that doesn't have a baby that actually went with the elderly person.
Thanks for tuning in, everyone.
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